my december...

it's just the 13th of december, but I feel something, and definitely it's not good.

i feel so stressed (who doesn't anyway?), tired, and sometimes i think, "if i'll die tomorrow, so be it". you see, death is just a part of life. well, not really, but it's more like a door, and there's too many things that we can know when we go through it. it may be painful, but just imagine it, it's just fine.

anyway, it's not what i'm thinking. it's just that i feel pressure, as if my head will explode. it may sound exaggerated, but i think that's the only way i can describe it. i know there's just a few days left, but i hope i can survive for another day. maybe there's just too many things in my mind.

one more thing that bothers me is her. no, she's not my problem. it is my brain that's making the problem. i'm thinking about her all day, all night. "what could she be doing? who is she with? is she just ok?". do you think this is infatuation? no. i'd say it's far from reality.

i would like to end this post by saying "i love you" to everyone. i know it's far from what i said before, but i thought that if i'll go tomorrow, at least i have said the three words that i want to say to her (she may not read this, but at least i have said it.) gudnyt, thats all.